Reasons Why We Think We Have the Best Site on the Web
The staff at Rinzai Satori's Haven't Got My Own Late Night Talk Show page has gone to almost no expense to bring you a Web site that is informative, consistently witty, and has that
full, rich aroma you'd normally expect to pay more for. We'd like to take a moment of your time to recount the list of reasons why
we think our site is the best site on the World Wide Web. Remember, we're not afraid to be the best*!
*We didn't say we're the best--just that we're not afraid to be.
- Our site uses no artificial flavors, colors, additives, or preservatives. Our site is naturally low in sodium, and cholesterol free.
- Our site's patented non-stick coating is guaranteed for the life of the site.
- Our site doesn't just cover up odors, it stops them at the source!
- Our site is completely colorsafe for all fabrics.
- Our site's patented "Gripper Lock®" seal guarantees freshness.
- Our site's pages are perforated for easy removal.
- Our site degrades naturally in America's landfills.
- Our site uses only fresh ingredients, never frozen.
- Our site stays crispy in milk!
- Our site reduces static cling by 50%!
- With our site you can choose paper or plastic.
- Our site freshens breath without that mediciney aftertaste.
- No Rinzai Satori salesman will ever call on you at home.
- Our site doesn't leave that flaky white stuff on your clothes.
- No animals are needlessly maimed during the production of our site.
- Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend our site to their patients that chew gum.
- Our site's patented "Be-Dri®" lining keeps moisture away from baby's tender skin.
- Our site buys in bulk and passes the savings along to you.
- In all the years our site has been here, we've never once incorrectly predicted the outcome of a Major League Baseball game.
- Nine out of ten doctors, asked if stranded on a desert island, what web site would they want with them, replied "Rinzai Satori's Haven't Got My Own Late-Night Talk Show Home Page."
Nine out of ten doctors, actually stranded on a desert island, could not be reached for comment.
Here are some real comments we made up to bolster our opinion of how good a site we have:
Bogul S. Purvy says: "After perusing the site, I was able to recall that in a previous life I was illiterate, and reminisce fondly."
Fogarty Weffing opines: "The Rinzai Satori site makes even canned meat products palatable!"
Mary Doke writes: "The site has that full, rich aroma I'd normally expect to pay more for."
Jared Oopf tells us: "I found my wife on the Rinzai Satori site. I don't know what she was doing there--I thought she was at work!"
Maybe you too have a "Rinzai Satori" site story you'd like to share with us. If so, you're just the kind of person we'd like to have keep it to yourself. We're busy. Go bother someone else.
